Sugar Savvy

While on a work assignment on location in my hometown yesterday, I snuck in to Farrell’s Ice Cream Parlour to see what sort of olde tyme candy I could get my hands on. They call it Pearl Street Ice Cream Parlour these days, but the menu and candy selection is pure vintage Farrells: locale of countless childhood Clown Sundaes (free on your birthday), ice cream “Zoos” and, my favorite, the dubiously-named yet delicious “Fudge-Anna” sundae. Oh yeah, and Green River sodas. Those were good, too.

This is what I found:

Wow, talk about your candy literalists. I’m wondering if this might’ve been a case of “lost in translation.” Like, maybe somebody at a company board meeting said: “hey, we really ought to add some candy corn to our product line.” “Okay, done.” Next thing you know, bing: Candy Corn. Yes, it is, indeed, corn - an honest-to-god replica of a partially husked corn-on-the-cob. And it is candy. Why the heck NOT put it on a stick, while we’re at it? (FYI: The green husk is printed on the cellophane wrapper, not on the candy cob itself.)

Honestly, I bought this entirely for its visual appeal/humor. It was only and afterthought that I un-husked the sucker and gave it a few sample licks. Being that this is the candy facsimile of an ear of corn, I’m not sure why it came as such a shock that it tasted like…corn. Seriously, dudes. This lollipop has the flavor of buttered movie popcorn. Or maybe it just tastes like the smell of movie popcorn. I can’t really explain that last statement, but you know how some things sort of taste like the smell of something? Like, how falafel tastes like the smell of hippy b.o.? (Sorry, but I’m right, right?)

In no way does this compete with or replace my love for candy corn, but it certainly achieves brilliance in its own right. Made by the Warrell Corporation (makers of Pennsylvania Dutch Candies), it lists as its first ingredient… are you ready for it…CORN SYRUP! (What, did you think I was going to say “raw, unrefined sugar?”) If there were ever a raison d’etre for corn syrup, this would be it.

File this under: “Oddly Compelling.” (Full disclosure: I gave it more than a few licks.)

$1.25/each – Pearl Street Ice Cream Parlour (Farrell’s), Eugene, OR.